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Last night as I crawled into my own bed, I was struck by the difference between this night and the last time I was there. Last week, I “slept” in my own bed with the light on, my laptop open next to me and both of my phone ringers on loud. Adrenaline coursed through my body and though there was no other sound in my house, I was not quiet. I couldn’t be. But still, that night I went to bed fairly certain Zo was going to be fine. After all, people in my family don’t get seriously injured, much less die. In my 30 years of life, young people in my family stay healthy, vibrant and alive.
Until now.
Last night – eight days later - as I crawled into bed, I had the lights off. I had no media devices around. My body was quiet, tired and numb. And this time, I was wearing a beaded bracelet in honor of Zo’s memory.
Trying to fall asleep, I remembered our last week. Our horrible and wonderful, our hope-filled and grief-stricken last week. I never knew it was possible to feel all of those things right at the same time.
Over the next few days (hopefully), I will be blogging the happenings of the last week, as our family has begun the road of the deepest grief and surest hope. It will not just be my point of view, as I hope to get tidbits from the rest of the family as well.
Please continue your prayers as REAL life begins and we learn to walk in it.
Grace and Peace,
Auntie Melissa
Beautiful piece of writing. Many, many people have commented how much this has meant to them, knowing that you are keeping everyone informed, not only with facts but with beautiful insights as to what it's like to live within the arms of Jesus, yet be able to experience the torrential rain, along with God's mighty thunder and lightning. One thing I was struck with. The first night, you were all activity, blog going, phones texting, mind working. And now, your body is quiet. Your soul is rested. God has done His work in all of us. Zozo is loving all of us from the place we all want to be. He's in the songs I hear, he's in the turning leaves. He's in Ulysses' bright eyes and Sadie's laugh. Hundreds of lives are changed because of our ZoZo. But you're right, the real power of God's healing is yet to take place, and He will not fail us.
ReplyDeleteEVERYTIME I read this or let alone anything about how this last week has impacted lives I get shivers. Your WHOLE family amazes me with the strength,courage, and complete faith in the lord. Amazing is such a good word to describe your family. Kate is so courageous and I can only hope and pray to be as strong of a woman as her. Im excited to keep up with the family thru this blog!
ReplyDeleteThank you for keeping up with the blog. It is a source of comfort for your family and for those of us lucky enough to peek in from time to time. I appreciate the theme of getting on with the "new normal". "Normal" usually changes slowly as life's circumstances evolve, and the change is just accepted. That's the way life is. But for some, "normal" shatters suddenly and we are left dazed, bewildered, incapacitated. It's during these times that the hand of God can be seen at work. I'm praying for Zo's family, especially for his mommy and daddy, brother and sister.
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