Pictures of Enzo's Memorial Service

On October 6, 2010, 6-month old Enzo was in a car accident with his parents and older brother and sister. Almost 48 hours later, he went home to be with Jesus. This blog is run by his family members and is our way of sharing our grief and hope with everyone who cares to visit. We rejoice in knowing that one day we will be reunited with Enzo in eternity! If you would like to contact us, you can email us at (not case-sensitive).

Monday, October 18, 2010

Prayer for the other driver - Forgiveness and Mercy

Good morning friends -

This morning, I would like to ask for prayer for the driver of the Yukon (which hit Kate's car) and his family. They did not want this to happen any more than we did, and their family is deeply struggling too. They have asked to remain anonymous here on this public blog and I will respect that - I will call him "Sam" and his wife, "Julie." Anyone who was at the Memorial Service will most likely never forget the display of forgiveness, grace and redemption we witnessed.

Near the end of the sharing time last Tuesday, a woman walked - or, rather, was very nearly carried - by three other women, to the front of the church. She had been sitting in the back for the service and needed some fresh air outside, where these other women found her, figured out who she was, and brought her up front. Bless these three women who stood up there with her and supported her.

If you haven't already guessed, it was Julie. The tears fell as she over and over again said how sorry her family was that this had happened. She explained that Sam had not left his bed since the night of the accident, he couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. My mom went up and stood with her then. Julie sobbed as she looked right at Todd and said, "He wants to die, bro!" And at that moment, Todd and Kate jumped up and held a long embrace with her. Pastor Joe and my dad also came up and the whole service prayed for Sam and Julie and their family.

It was quite possibly, the most vivid picture I have ever witnessed of forgiveness in "unforgivable" circumstances.

Forgiveness is not saying the wrong they have done you is okay. It also does not mean you won't want to see justice done, if needed (and indeed, there is an investigation underway for the cause of the crash). But forgiveness IS giving up my right to hurt you, for hurting me. It is releasing them to the Lord, not allowing bitterness to be in our hearts. And we know that God is both complete justice and complete grace. It means that we don't have to worry about making sure they suffer as much as we have.

I have heard whisperings that Sam needs to pay, that he doesn't deserve forgiveness. But that is not our family's true heart. Jesus died on the cross for Sam hitting Kate's car, just as he died for the lie I told yesterday, or the hurtful way I spoke to my kids this morning. Romans 6:23 says "The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus." (NIV) My sin is no different than Sam's, although the earthly consequences may be different.

Colossians 3:13 -" Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." (NLT)

Let me also say that the choice of forgiveness is done in a moment - but the feelings of forgiveness take a much longer time. Let us choose to forgive today, and our feelings will learn to follow.

I found the below quotes on forgiveness and thought to share them all with you - I pray you are encouraged!


Forgiveness is the giving, and so the receiving, of life. --George MacDonald

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you.—Unknown

He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass.--George Herbert

Resentment is like a glass of poison that a man drinks; then he sits down and waits for his enemy to die.—Unknown

You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well. --Lewis B. Smedes

Forgiveness is me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me. --Anonymous


  1. Auntie Melissa, when are you going to write a book? Maybe that's what God has for YOU in this whole process. Good job, and this will heal a lot of hearts. Love your mom

  2. You have a gift like your mama of putting your heart on paper (or in this case, computer)! You are right on sweetheart! Beauty from ashes :)

    I agree with your mom :)

    With Love,

  3. That was really great, Mis. I know you don't write on the blog to receive praise but that was awesome and straight from God. He spoke through you. Love you sis.

  4. you guys are just awesome! with Christ all things are possible. He forgives us, we can surely forgive others. God bless you all!

  5. amazed more and more everyday:)

  6. Your family's strength through this whole process has an inspiration to me in many of my difficult times the last few weeks...but at the memorial to see this we watched the forgiveness before our eyes was just amazing...I'm not sure how many noticed but I distinctly remember your mom kneeling at Julie's feet in prayer for her family as everyone else gathered around...that touched my heart deeply. It was a display of not only total forgiveness but of the power of love as well. God has been teaching me much about His love in the last year and to see that display of love through people and to know the Lord loves us all even more lifts me up everyday.
    Thank you for this blog Melissa. I agree with your mom. You have an amazing gift for sharing the word. You present it in such a way that we all can relate, take in what God has for us and apply it to our lives...thank you for that
    Love to you and your family


  7. It's me the wife.....Melissa you are such a beautiful woman in christ. Thank you for this. I would like to get on here and tell you that we are doing better but for now that's not the truth. I know that sam has been out of the bed and attempting to play with our kids. I am grateful that he has decided to get professional help, with dealing with his grief. I pray for him every night, and for stregnth to continue to live my life the way that God would have me live it. I have been both extremely blessed and wrought with grief at the same time. Blessed becuase I know that Zo is in a better place and taht my part in this is to just be supportive of my husband and let him know that this truly could have happened to anyone. Also that I was ab;e to meet all of you. Although I would have rather met you under any other circumstance. I know that saying this doesn't make it better for him,but it does give me courage. I can sometimes not believe the outpouring of love and support that I was afforded by your family after such a tragic loss. I hope that this experience helps me understand gods divine wisdom, and teaches me that only he knows when its time. I have expectations about life sometimes, and hopes and dreams that in a single moment my father can decide are not what he has planned. It is in these moments I am reminded that he brings families together for a reason. I am currrently a full time student and i support my whole family on my financial aid.......this used to be my biggest struggle.... Now I just worry about Sam. I sincerely thank you. I know Sam came to church this past Sunday (first day out of the house), and walked in and placed mly whole family on the baptismal list. I have been baptised but I wanted to know why he did that so I asked....Same looked at me and said...."I have to believe in something and I heard someone say that surrender to God and accepting him into my life helps, and I don't want to lose my family"! I cried of course but I also told him that a family who prays together stays together.

    Many Blessings to you and yours!
    "Julie" (thanks for the name)

  8. Oh Melissa, your family's strength and grace continue to blow me away. The depth of your faith--especially in times when others would be at their worst-- is truly remarkable. I am so terribly, terribly sorry for your loss, yet so impressed by the way you and your family are able to handle it.