.jpg)
Yesterday when I saw the pictures of Zo in his casket, I could not find words to describe anything. He was buried on what would have been his seven month birthday. Heaviness settled over me and I just tried to keep it together all day so I wasn’t a blubbering mess at my kids’ soccer games. Today I have gotten used to seeing the pictures of him, his little white casket and the rainy dreary weather they had for the graveside service. But that heaviness still sits on me and the only thing I have running through my head is how wrong a baby casket is. How wrong any casket is. There are some words playing over and over in my head like a broken record player: “It wasn’t supposed to be this way.”
Indeed. Parents were never supposed to bury their children.
When God created us in His image, death was not a part of the equation. Created in our perfect states, we were never supposed to die. But alas, Eve took a bite of that blasted apple, and suddenly perfect everlasting life was out of reach. Death became a part of life now. Our sin now separated us from God like the Grand Canyon, and a curse now weighs over all creation.
But God had a plan – as always. J He sent his only son as Savior of the world so that we could once again have that perfect eternal life with Him. While living on this earth, all creation is still under the curse. But what hope we have that one day we will be with Zozo again! And with all of our loved ones who have accepted Jesus Christ as their savior! And best of all, with Jesus himself in that everlasting life. And we will live in a place that is not under the curse any longer! Can I get an amen?!?!
So I can look at Enzo’s casket with grief, but not despair. We can feel how wrong it is to be burying someone we love, but know that one day nothing will ever be wrong again. I can’t wait for that day!!!
Todd and Kate chose “There Will Be A Day” by Jeremy Camp to be performed at the Memorial Service. You can watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=le-TG4sRRiQ
2 Corinthians 4:7-9 “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. “
Well said dear sister!! Eve and that blasted apple... :0)
ReplyDeleteI had a dear friend tell me today (a grandmother who has also lost a grandchild) something that felt very, very right to me. I have been wondering WHY I am not a quivering, blubbering mess, all the time. Every once in a while a deep, wrenching sob makes its way to the surface and it feels like I am going to die. Then, it's gone.
ReplyDeleteWhat she told me is this: This kind of grief is deep inside our souls, deeper than the level of tears. It stays there, lying quietly until it has to be dealt with, and then it is brief, and then over.
As time goes on, the knot of grief will dissipate and soon days will pass, then weeks, and then that sob will be silenced. Our family now needs to learn to walk the "new" normal. Our lives will never be the same, Zozo touched us so deeply, loved us so unconditionally...he will be part of us forever. I can't wait until the day when I get to tell him "Hey Zo, Nana's here! Let's play!"
I don't have the strength you all have because I am a mess. I can't seem to not cry and I can't seem to want to take it back! Take it back is what I keep telling our father. He doesn't. I have to hold on that he has a plan. Jeremiah 29:11 says For I know the plans I have for you. I will remember that every time I try and tell our heavenly father that he is wrong.
ReplyDeleteIt's knowing that one day my flesh will not be upset by this, that tells me to keep stepping forward he will hold me up.
You all have touched me in a very powerful way.
Bless you all, Zo I can't wait to meet you, I know your just the sweetest little guy.
Thank u Melissa for keeping us in prayer
Im just a person out there whose heart is breaking for your families! I also know the person who did this and where they come from. He was out on a relapse smoking pills and pot! I was in the same room one day when I heard his wife say her husband could do this 3 years in prison standing on his head,because he had done way more time than that before, and it made me SICK! Then I seen a service where she came and hugged Enzos mother and father and I thought I would vomit. I want to be honest, I text and drive......but since Enzos death, I do it less and think about safety more. I would want to die if I hurt someone due to my own selfish actions. My heart still goes out to all of you. I think of all of you every time I drive by that street. I cant imagine the strength you needed from God...for EVERYTHING. A caring Mom and Grandma
ReplyDelete